Friday, April 23, 2004

And God Said, "Let there be light!"
The light shines on us, grammar gods all.

Grammar God!
You are a GRAMMAR GOD!

If your mission in life is not already to
preserve the English tongue, it should be.
Congratulations and thank you!

How grammatically sound are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Thursday, April 22, 2004

ELCA Smacked
The Evangelical Lutheran Church in American has been hit with a judgment of $37 million dollars in a case of child sexual abuse. There were 14 plaintiffs in the case. Critics are already making comparisons with the Catholic Church's sexual abuse scandal.

Apparently, Gerald Patrick Thomas, Jr, a minister out of Ohio, was accused of abusing a number of boys in his parish. He has already been convicted in state court and sentenced to 397 years in prison. He's also serving 5 years for child pornography charges.

How was he caught? A teenage parishioner found child porn on Thomas's computer and attempted to blackmail him.

The crux of the case rests on the accusation that the ELCA knew that Thomas was probably some kind of deviant. This article provides more details about the previous incidents.

Further complicating matters, the bishop's assistant in charge of assigning ministers within the synod, Earl Eliason, has, himself, plead no-contest on three separate occasions to indecent exposure. The lead plaintiff's attorney in the case says that Eliason suffers from "sexual addiction," and this impaired his judgment in assigning ministers.
No, not this isn't what you're thinking. Actually, it's "What would Jesus drive," an actual environmental campaign back in 2002.

Why do I mention this? The National Council of Churches has sent a letter to Bush, saying that his desire to weaken the Clean Air Act is, I guess, acting counter to man's stewardship of the Earth. I didn't realize that the Bible had a specific plan for making sure that the Industrial Revolution didn't pollute too much. One can make the serious case that the Bible would frown on polluters, but I didn't realize that opposing specific government sanctions (in favor of more effective private solutions) was considered a sin.

I'd like the NCC to show me where the EPA is the ordained master of the environment.

Anyway, I suspect Jesus would drive a fifteen passenger touring van.
I have been Deified
I, too, am a grammar god. My people shall know me, and I shall make them use proper punctuation. Woe unto your house if you should fail to properly place a semi-colon.
The graphic makes this worthwhile
Grammar God!
You are a GRAMMAR GOD!

If your mission in life is not already to
preserve the English tongue, it should be.
Congratulations and thank you!

How grammatically sound are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

Kerry: The Frank Burns of Vietnam
Senator Kerry has released his military records. Seems fair, given that Bush had to turn over his due to the non-story regarding his Texas Air National Guard service.

Quote of interest:
"Kerry's former commanding officer, Lt. Cmdr. Grant Hibbard, told the Boston Globe last week that Kerry's first Purple Heart came from a minor wound, resembling a fingernail scrape."
Fabulous. Reminds me of the MASH episode where Frank Burns in for a purple heart because of a vicious splinter he received.
If not terrorists, than who?
Check out the scare quotes in this article about the bombing in Basra today:
Iraqi Interior Minister Samir Shaker Mahmoud al-Sumeidi blamed "terrorists." He said the Basra attacks resembled suicide bombings earlier this year against Shiites and Kurds that killed hundreds and were blamed on foreign Islamic militants.
Did the reporter think it was really the Girl Scouts?

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

Saddam's attorney
Joe, I thought you were going to say Johnnie Cochran.
Saddam's Trial
A tribunal for Saddam's trial is being set up. And, I'm glad that it's an Iraqi tribunal. Put him in front of something set up by the UN, and I'm sure he'd pull a Hermann Goering at Nuremburg.

Guess who's going to defend Saddam. That's right, a Frenchman.
There is no moral equivalence
This is such an excellent article, I'm tempted to copy and paste the whole thing here. I'll settle for a large chunk:
Our other great weakness — remember we are looking at ourselves through the eyes of the terror masters, not passing judgment — is respect for individual human beings, and a great reluctance to take military action that will likely kill innocent civilians, especially women and children. A couple of weeks ago, an Italian general who commands the national peacekeeping force in Nassiriyah told journalists about the enemy's method of fighting. First they launch a surprise attack. The Italians take some initial casualties and fight back, gradually gaining the upper hand. At that point, small children start walking toward the Italian positions, followed by women draped in black. The Italians stop shooting. The terrorists regroup. The women and children go away. The terrorists start shooting again.

Marine sharpshooters are reporting that when enemy fighters move through the streets of Fallujah, they drag women and children in front of them, so that if the Marines shoot, they will likely kill the innocents.

This tactic goes back a long way. Once the terrorists realized that we (and the Israelis) would balk at attacking targets that contained innocent civilians, they took care to locate themselves in such areas. In the Eighties, for example, most every time Hezbollah attacked us, its leaders quickly repaired to villages and neighborhoods with lots of hospitals, churches, mosques, and schools. That was an effective deterrent. Both we and the Israelis made the painful decision to accept higher casualties on our side, in order to prevent killing women, children, nurses, priests, and other noncombatants.

The terrorists hate that, and they do everything in their power to make the world believe that we are like them, that we lie, that we kill indiscriminately, that we do not care about innocent lives. Thus, in recent weeks, reports attributed to sources in Fallujah hospitals have spoken of huge numbers of women and children shot in the head by U.S. Marines (one particularly imaginative version had it that Fallujah doctors were digging out bullets from the brains of the victims in order to prove our criminal acts. That one was racing around the web for a while, until some militarily unchallenged bloggers noted that our ammunition would go right through the heads, and wouldn't be stopped by brain tissue). And the BBC came up with some casualty figures showing that more than 90 percent of the dead in Fallujah were innocents. That too, was changed after a while. But the lies continue.
No, we are not like them, not at all.
Michael Moore is evil
I mean it. Evil with a capital E. Case in point:
Michael Moore has written in his own words his desire for US troops to die in sufficient numbers that we lose in Iraq. How anyone can claim that this man is anything other than an America-hating scumbag is beyond me.
Read the whole thing.
Better than T.J. Hooker
William Shatner has returned to television as a senile lawyer on The Practice, and he is great. He makes the show worth watching again. On Sunday's episode, he was negotiating a wrongful death suit with the opposing lawyers and he said something like, "The lighting fixture fell on her head and killed her, irreparably." Hilarious.
So much love it'll kill ya
Well, dang. The local paper had an article this morning I want to talk about, but they must not have put it on their website. I left the paper at home, so I'll have to paraphrase. My apologies.

Today's paper carried an article about the real Patch Adams, who gave a speech at a local college yesterday. The title of his speech was something like, "What is your love strategy?" It was an anti-war speech, which is fine. Reasonable people can disagree on whether we should have gone into Iraq. I wouldn't have bothered to talk about his speech, but he did say that he would never fight for any reason, even to defend his own children. I just about spit out my breakfast shake ( chocolaty) when I read that.

The problem with these extreme "love your neighbor" types is that their love is so unconditional they cannot distinguish between friend or foe, between their own family members and those who would do harm to them. In an ideal world, Adams and the rest of us could take this feel-good position because there'd be no one to abuse us. But in the real world, there will always be someone who is willing to take advantage of this non-violent creed and do violence to us, without fear of us fighting back.

Yeah, it's appealing to think we could all sit around the camp fire with flowers in our hair, holding hands and telling stories of love and happiness. Maybe that's something we can do with our family and friends on a weekend at the lake, but on the global scale such naivete will just get us killed.